Redesign.New look.Motherhood,&Everything in between

I know it's been a year since I last posted, And reason being, I totally forgot I had a blog, Yeah I am pretty bad at that. But that's okay, The first year of Makai's life was an excuse, because youre sleep deprived and half the time you'll be lucky if you remember what day it is, what time it is and when was the last time you ate. But fast forwarding to now, Alot had changed... and this is where it all began.. They Say, you are crazy when people say you want kids? Why would you? I fell in love with my baby, the baby who I carried 9 months in my tiny body. It was hard at first, then I met a few amazing friends and I was just so glad we were all in the same boat. He was such a smiley happy baby and adorable and just loved watching all the milestones he was hitting, Then by 1.5 I think life got carried away and welcome to toddlerhood. I always wanted to be a mom. Really I did. But I never thought after all those experiences I had with other children and my teachings as a preschool teacher would suddenly feel like a major fail. But as what advice I take from my friends that He's a boy, and hes just an energetic little boy who is always going to be the one that wants to be independent and listening isn't one of them. But I am hoping, Just hoping that he will get out of this phase of not being so wild, and crazy and Not listening phase. As we enter a new stage in our lives, A new sibling. Right now, I am 17 weeks along, and I am trying my best to juggle everything, Being a wonderful wife, a mother to two furry animals, and a mother a 2 1/2 year old toddler. I have been asking myself over and over again since I got pregnant, How do people with multiple children do it? do they sleep at night? do they pull their hair out and scream? I always wondered. I know for sure it must feel stressful. I know that Makai will get better in so many ways, I just have be patient and ask god to guide me in a direction of HOPE. LOTS of it. I know being a mother isn't easy, and for some odd reason I always thought that It was easy before having Kai. lol. But my perspective is that it's not easy, we will struggle, we will lose hope, we will feel like nothing ever works, or that you feel that you are a bad mom because the discipline that you chose isn't working. But I now tell myself, GOD IS Watching, He will help you, He will guide you, you are his child and he will be there to tell you IT"s gonna be okay if you are feeling like you failed today, Just know you will wake up tomorrow refreshed, and you can start over again. Parenting isn't easy. Being a mother isn't easy and I just need to continue to tell myself that. Ok, enough about my venting... Last paragraph, I swear. I know it may not all make sense, but if you know me, you will understand clearly of what I'm trying to say. I am grateful. I am Very grateful. of the life I have . A wonderful husband who loves me, takes care of me, a house to live in, two children and two kids. and wonderful friends. from highschool, college and in my mommies group, you know who are. I love you all. and I am glad you are all part of my life. Thank you for your support.. PS. Please feel free to comment, I would love to hear from you all. I know we all have busy lives, but if you have some downtime, what can I do for a few minutes, feel free to check back on my blog.. Thank you Sheena